Sometimes to obtain wisdom, you have to extract from the wise. That’s what I love about King Solomon.  Sometimes when I read the book of Proverbs, it just blows my mind–I believe it’s one of my favorite books of the Bible.

One of my favorite scriptures that I had to meditate on today  is:

Proverbs 16: 23-24 

The heart of the wise instructs his mouth and adds persuasiveness to his lips. Pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.

Harmful words can cause deep wounds that could be resistant to healing as more and more harmful expressions (bacteria) seep into an already gaping wound. Although our wounds may heal, sometimes there are lasting scars, some more susceptible to abrasion than others. We try to bandage the wounds with facades of having thick skin–acting out the childhood cliché, “but words will never hurt me”…BUT, the truth of the matter is WORDS DO HURT.  If the hurtful words from the past aren’t quite healed all the way,  it’s easy for old wounds to re-open. If we don’t allow ourselves the proper healing time (not by reflecting, but forgiving and moving forward) eventually, over time the overlap of harsh, unedifying words can become necrotic.  It can begin eating away at our character, causing us to become guarded, negative and hard.  This can further promote the spread of toxic/poisonous communication to others.


Ancient research has found that honey has several valuable properties for healing.  That’s what’s so powerful about this scripture. GO AHEAD SOLOMON WITH YO’ WISE SELF! 

Let’s take a look:

1) Honey prohibits the growth of bacteria from entering a wound (Protective)

2) Honey helps keeps skin moist, encouraging the growth of new tissue, reduces the likelihood of scarring, and promotes easy removal of bandages (Soothing/Healing)

3) Helps kills cells that cause cancer (Kills antibodies that can invade and demolish the body)

How are the words that flow from your lip? Do they inflict hurt or do they encourage? Do they exhibit these qualities listed above or are completely opposite?

As we continue to crucify our flesh daily–let us keep in mind that our words have meaning and can impact others in harmful ways. Instead, let’s strive to impact in healthy ways. Tell the truth in love, be genuine, encourage, and help lift up…after all, the words we speak, we may have to eat someday. Might as well make it tasty!


The Vital Role of Symmetry in Relationships

I’m amazed by the human body. Two of my favorite courses in graduate school were Anatomy/Physiology and Neuroanatomy. If I had the patience and drive to change my course of study and stay in school much longer, I definitely would have pursued neuroscience.  I absolutely love the intricacy of the human brain–this statement will make a lot of sense in a moment—KEEP READING 🙂

Recently,  in conversation with a guy friend who decided he was tired of not dating and was going put more effort into meeting people, he mentioned that as he has gotten older, his preferences have shifted to the point that what had previously been deal-breakers were now things up for negotiation.  This included the person of interest’s religious beliefs. This was a huge change, because we were both firm believers on being equally yoked with our significant others. As he began to date more and I saw things  going more in his favor. It bothered me and I even questioned at one point if I was being too picky in this area of my preferences. It took getting the flu to gain insight about my concerns.

During this battle with the flu, one of the most ANNOYING side effects was horrible nasal congestion.

I remember sitting in the bed, struggling to breathe through my nose and it hit me–I suddenly became very thankful for the simple fact that instead of God creating us with one nostril, he decided to create us with two. Fascinated by this enlightenment, I updated my Facebook status saying, “Today, I’m thankful for two nostrils, because if I only had one, I would be a goner”.

Though I casually joked about the wonder of this anatomical development I began to reflect on just how much care to design God had when creating us. He was so careful, that for the most part, the framework of the human body was designed to be bilaterally symmetrical.  This means, the way our bodies are structured, it is capable of being split down a vertical axis into equal parts, so that one part mirrors the other–right brain/left brain, right eye/left eye, right ear/left ear. You get my drift.

While reflecting on this fact, I asked myself:

‘What if Christian relationships operated in the symmetry in which it were designed?’

Follow me as I break it down…

The word symmetry derives from the Greek word, symmetria, which means ‘to measure together’.

There are two primary meanings to the word symmetry. 1) two parts meshed together to create harmony/balance. 2) patterned similarity.

Chemical, biological and physical components that are created to have bilateral symmetry can not be broken down easily. The best way to understand this point, is to look at the human brain.

The human brain consists of two hemispheres, the left hemisphere and the right hemisphere.

Though the two hemispheres are patterned similarly; they both organize and interpret information differently  (just as two individuals would). The two hemispheres are connected together by a core of neural fibers called the corpus callosum, that allows them to communicate effectively with one another. This interhemispheric communication within the brain is what is responsible for communication throughout the entire body. Typically, because of this transfer of information between the two hemispheres, the right hemisphere can relate information to the left side of they body or vice versa and in an intact system, the body as a unit works in a harmonious manner.

This cognitive process parallels with the processes of an effective relationship.

Our relationship with God represents the vertical axis. Though male and female were patterned similarly, each has a different function. However, if God remains the center of our being, we are able to communicate with each other effectively (emotionally, physically and spiritually) and function as a unit .

So in terms of relationships, what if  two people come together, but the core of communication {God} is compromised or is absent?

In neuroscience, the absence of the corpus callosum, is referred to as a rare genetic disorder called agenesis of the corpus callosum. In Christianity, the absence of the core {God} is atheism.

I am going to make a bold statement and say, if you function without God as the core of your relationships, it is an atheistic interaction destined for failure.

There are many symptoms that arise due to the absence this central core of communication (both completely and partially) in both neuroscience and Christian relationships.

  • Visual Impairment (in a harmonious/balance system, vision (goals/mission of the relationship) is clearer, in a system that is compromised,  clarity is skewed/impaired).
  • Low  muscle tone (when the core of communication is intact, the body is able to withstand hardships that may come their way, because the entire system is stronger. In a system that lacks the strength to withstand those trials, anything can threaten the sturdiness of the relationship).
  • Poor coordination (when the core of communication  is intact, the movement of the unit is more smooth and seamless, it is more balanced; in a system that has poor motor coordination, getting to where you need to go is taxing and the relationship is off balance).
  • Delays in reaching milestones (when the core is intact there is greater success in reaching SUCCESSFUL milestones (courtship, engagement, marriage, children), when the core is compromised (God is absent), there tends to be a delay and lack of success in the development of the relationship)
  • Incontinence (in a system with an intact core, you are able to control the waste that is excreted (toxic behavior), in a system without the core, you are more susceptible to uncontrollable excretion of waste (uncontrolled toxicity).
  • Hearing impairment (in system with God present, they unit is able to hear the voice of God clearer, in a system that is compromised, it is difficult to hear the voice of God and be led by it).
  • Difficulty Swallowing (in an intact system (swallowing/digesting spiritual guidance/nutrients is easy, in a system that is compromised (without a core), it becomes difficult to chew/digest spiritual food).

In closing, God is essential in the core of our relationships. Without Him, our entire system (relationship) will be out of control. We as individuals would not be able to communicate with each other effectively, which ultimately affects the functionality of of the relationship as a whole. Let God be the core of your relationships. Otherwise,  it will be a relationship destined for disaster— and it literally doesn’t take a neuroscientist to figure that out.

Love & Peace,



So I’m up…researching, reflecting and writing in the midnight hours. Though it’s been a long day, I find either very early morning or at midnight is the best time to write.

When you bask in silence, clarity emerges.


Sometimes you lose a lot of sleep and have to find extra time in your day. Extra time? What’s that? <–gotta be a joke!

Sometimes you feel afraid because you think you are going to be judged on your transparency. But ultimately you have to come to an understanding that everyone has not been handed the tasks that you have been handed, as you haven't been handed the task they have been handed. You have to be comfortable in who you are and as Nike says, "JUST DO IT"!

I realize that it is time to stop being afraid, muzzling the words that are placed in me, because holding my writing back, could be holding back a breakthrough for someone else. If what I write just blesses ONE person, then I fulfilled my assignment!

I don't want to be a writer to just get something out and say, "I wrote a book". I want to write multiple books. I want my writing to have impact across the world–touch strangers whom I've never met, inspire them to keep fighting and not give up hope. I want to really make a difference.

In our world today, it’s not the most popular read because it’s not gossiping about the most current trends in Hollywood, highlighting the most current events.

My type of writing is not the most popular because it highlights the power of Christ and to be honest, Christ wasn’t the most popular man on campus. 🙂 #truth.com

However, this is my assignment and I truly believe God’s plans defies popularity.

2012–I can’t wait to see what this year will unfold. #writingunafraid


Today, I asked a patient a rather routine question, “Sir, do you wear a pacemaker or defibrillator?” He looked at me intensely and uttered, “No, not the physical one that you speak of, but I married one”. I said, “excuse me”. He said, “I married someone who is my pacemaker…she keeps me going, she gives me life, and speaks life”. Then he asks me, “did you happen to marry your pacemaker”. I said, “hmm, I never really looked at it that way, but no, I haven’t married my pacemaker {yet}”.

After the encounter, the patient’s analogy stuck with me. I began to think about the purpose of the pacemaker and its purpose in monitoring the rhythm of your heart. When your heart’s behavior is operating smoothly, the pacemaker is there for monitoring purposes. It’s almost like a level of accountability. But when that behavior begins to get a little slow, too fast-paced or any form or irregularity, that pacemaker begins to fulfill its purpose, sending a shock to your circulatory system, and get that heart flow back on track.

Typically, pacemaker recipients aren’t even aware of the presence of the device. It is light-weight, not burdensome, and a routine part of them, but when those tough times hit, and their life line is compromised, that’s when the true importance of such a device is really recognized. It can be a matter of life or death.

This patient’s analogy made me survey all of the relationships that I have encountered in my life. Primarily interactions that I’ve had with men; however, this analogy could translate into any relationship.

Upon reflection, I realize that I have had various “pacemakers” and have had those who are more like “artery blockers”. I began to think about those whom I love. Those who are so important to me and who are a routine part of my life. When our relationship is not functioning as it should, I feel a little off, as if something is not right–I recognize the importance of their presence in my life, especially when that relationship is compromised. They are the people who “shock” my behavior back on track. They tell me like it is in love–they hold me accountable. These are my natural pacemakers.

Then I have had those people who were there, a routine part of my life; however, when those various forms of irregularity emerged–they did nothing, they said nothing to “shock” me back into the normalcy of my behavior or walk. They actually aided me down emotionally, physically and spiritually destructive paths. These are defective pacemakers–who if my life, walk, and destiny depended on it… all of those things would have been D.O.A.

Then there have been those people, who just pop up in your life out of the blue, unexpectedly and block all flow of progression. The blockage can be so bad that is sends your hopes, dreams and aspirations into arrest–compromising life from ever emerging from them in those specific situations. These are the silent killers–dream killers, suffactors of your desires–but typically there are red flags that many miss.

Do you feel fatigued, dizzy–going in circles, drained, no energy in the relationship. Perhaps your flow of progression is being threatened! Don’t ignore the warning signs.

These are matters of the heart. <–above all else…guard it!