Today, I asked a patient a rather routine question, “Sir, do you wear a pacemaker or defibrillator?” He looked at me intensely and uttered, “No, not the physical one that you speak of, but I married one”. I said, “excuse me”. He said, “I married someone who is my pacemaker…she keeps me going, she gives me life, and speaks life”. Then he asks me, “did you happen to marry your pacemaker”. I said, “hmm, I never really looked at it that way, but no, I haven’t married my pacemaker {yet}”.

After the encounter, the patient’s analogy stuck with me. I began to think about the purpose of the pacemaker and its purpose in monitoring the rhythm of your heart. When your heart’s behavior is operating smoothly, the pacemaker is there for monitoring purposes. It’s almost like a level of accountability. But when that behavior begins to get a little slow, too fast-paced or any form or irregularity, that pacemaker begins to fulfill its purpose, sending a shock to your circulatory system, and get that heart flow back on track.

Typically, pacemaker recipients aren’t even aware of the presence of the device. It is light-weight, not burdensome, and a routine part of them, but when those tough times hit, and their life line is compromised, that’s when the true importance of such a device is really recognized. It can be a matter of life or death.

This patient’s analogy made me survey all of the relationships that I have encountered in my life. Primarily interactions that I’ve had with men; however, this analogy could translate into any relationship.

Upon reflection, I realize that I have had various “pacemakers” and have had those who are more like “artery blockers”. I began to think about those whom I love. Those who are so important to me and who are a routine part of my life. When our relationship is not functioning as it should, I feel a little off, as if something is not right–I recognize the importance of their presence in my life, especially when that relationship is compromised. They are the people who “shock” my behavior back on track. They tell me like it is in love–they hold me accountable. These are my natural pacemakers.

Then I have had those people who were there, a routine part of my life; however, when those various forms of irregularity emerged–they did nothing, they said nothing to “shock” me back into the normalcy of my behavior or walk. They actually aided me down emotionally, physically and spiritually destructive paths. These are defective pacemakers–who if my life, walk, and destiny depended on it… all of those things would have been D.O.A.

Then there have been those people, who just pop up in your life out of the blue, unexpectedly and block all flow of progression. The blockage can be so bad that is sends your hopes, dreams and aspirations into arrest–compromising life from ever emerging from them in those specific situations. These are the silent killers–dream killers, suffactors of your desires–but typically there are red flags that many miss.

Do you feel fatigued, dizzy–going in circles, drained, no energy in the relationship. Perhaps your flow of progression is being threatened! Don’t ignore the warning signs.

These are matters of the heart. <–above all else…guard it!


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