The Vital Role of Symmetry in Relationships

I’m amazed by the human body. Two of my favorite courses in graduate school were Anatomy/Physiology and Neuroanatomy. If I had the patience and drive to change my course of study and stay in school much longer, I definitely would have pursued neuroscience.  I absolutely love the intricacy of the human brain–this statement will make a lot of sense in a moment—KEEP READING 🙂

Recently,  in conversation with a guy friend who decided he was tired of not dating and was going put more effort into meeting people, he mentioned that as he has gotten older, his preferences have shifted to the point that what had previously been deal-breakers were now things up for negotiation.  This included the person of interest’s religious beliefs. This was a huge change, because we were both firm believers on being equally yoked with our significant others. As he began to date more and I saw things  going more in his favor. It bothered me and I even questioned at one point if I was being too picky in this area of my preferences. It took getting the flu to gain insight about my concerns.

During this battle with the flu, one of the most ANNOYING side effects was horrible nasal congestion.

I remember sitting in the bed, struggling to breathe through my nose and it hit me–I suddenly became very thankful for the simple fact that instead of God creating us with one nostril, he decided to create us with two. Fascinated by this enlightenment, I updated my Facebook status saying, “Today, I’m thankful for two nostrils, because if I only had one, I would be a goner”.

Though I casually joked about the wonder of this anatomical development I began to reflect on just how much care to design God had when creating us. He was so careful, that for the most part, the framework of the human body was designed to be bilaterally symmetrical.  This means, the way our bodies are structured, it is capable of being split down a vertical axis into equal parts, so that one part mirrors the other–right brain/left brain, right eye/left eye, right ear/left ear. You get my drift.

While reflecting on this fact, I asked myself:

‘What if Christian relationships operated in the symmetry in which it were designed?’

Follow me as I break it down…

The word symmetry derives from the Greek word, symmetria, which means ‘to measure together’.

There are two primary meanings to the word symmetry. 1) two parts meshed together to create harmony/balance. 2) patterned similarity.

Chemical, biological and physical components that are created to have bilateral symmetry can not be broken down easily. The best way to understand this point, is to look at the human brain.

The human brain consists of two hemispheres, the left hemisphere and the right hemisphere.

Though the two hemispheres are patterned similarly; they both organize and interpret information differently  (just as two individuals would). The two hemispheres are connected together by a core of neural fibers called the corpus callosum, that allows them to communicate effectively with one another. This interhemispheric communication within the brain is what is responsible for communication throughout the entire body. Typically, because of this transfer of information between the two hemispheres, the right hemisphere can relate information to the left side of they body or vice versa and in an intact system, the body as a unit works in a harmonious manner.

This cognitive process parallels with the processes of an effective relationship.

Our relationship with God represents the vertical axis. Though male and female were patterned similarly, each has a different function. However, if God remains the center of our being, we are able to communicate with each other effectively (emotionally, physically and spiritually) and function as a unit .

So in terms of relationships, what if  two people come together, but the core of communication {God} is compromised or is absent?

In neuroscience, the absence of the corpus callosum, is referred to as a rare genetic disorder called agenesis of the corpus callosum. In Christianity, the absence of the core {God} is atheism.

I am going to make a bold statement and say, if you function without God as the core of your relationships, it is an atheistic interaction destined for failure.

There are many symptoms that arise due to the absence this central core of communication (both completely and partially) in both neuroscience and Christian relationships.

  • Visual Impairment (in a harmonious/balance system, vision (goals/mission of the relationship) is clearer, in a system that is compromised,  clarity is skewed/impaired).
  • Low  muscle tone (when the core of communication is intact, the body is able to withstand hardships that may come their way, because the entire system is stronger. In a system that lacks the strength to withstand those trials, anything can threaten the sturdiness of the relationship).
  • Poor coordination (when the core of communication  is intact, the movement of the unit is more smooth and seamless, it is more balanced; in a system that has poor motor coordination, getting to where you need to go is taxing and the relationship is off balance).
  • Delays in reaching milestones (when the core is intact there is greater success in reaching SUCCESSFUL milestones (courtship, engagement, marriage, children), when the core is compromised (God is absent), there tends to be a delay and lack of success in the development of the relationship)
  • Incontinence (in a system with an intact core, you are able to control the waste that is excreted (toxic behavior), in a system without the core, you are more susceptible to uncontrollable excretion of waste (uncontrolled toxicity).
  • Hearing impairment (in system with God present, they unit is able to hear the voice of God clearer, in a system that is compromised, it is difficult to hear the voice of God and be led by it).
  • Difficulty Swallowing (in an intact system (swallowing/digesting spiritual guidance/nutrients is easy, in a system that is compromised (without a core), it becomes difficult to chew/digest spiritual food).

In closing, God is essential in the core of our relationships. Without Him, our entire system (relationship) will be out of control. We as individuals would not be able to communicate with each other effectively, which ultimately affects the functionality of of the relationship as a whole. Let God be the core of your relationships. Otherwise,  it will be a relationship destined for disaster— and it literally doesn’t take a neuroscientist to figure that out.

Love & Peace,



4 thoughts on “The Vital Role of Symmetry in Relationships

  1. Wow, truly a well written explanation of the importance of symmetry in a relationship and the even more important aspect of having God as our “corpus callosum” (vertical axis). I’m a firm believer in having God totally in the middle…or how I like to look at it, He is that point at the top of our relationship triangle and as man and woman seek to get closer to Him they get closer to each other :). Once again well written piece and I will be sending others your way to read this!

    Ti Da
    Facebook: (Mr Davis)

  2. When I read this blogpost it blew my mind at how simple the association between the human brain and relationships were. It amazed me how easy it was for to clearly see all the disfunctions a relationship suffers when the direct connection to God is interrupted or even non-existent just by looking at the human brain. And Brandi Spyies could take this further or “phase out” the discussion by also looking at the “Brain” and saying that its representative of all Marriages in society. When the MARRIAGE fails and doesn’t function.. “the body” or our society doesn’t function. Households that are dishevled and in disarray produce children of the same capacity. I read the responses that Dane put up on Brandi’s website and I was literally like.. okay, what about the children of all these divorces here in the United States. If, well, not even IF… definitely SINCE THE CORE OF ANY FAMILY IS MOTHER & FATHER… AND THE PRODUCTIVITY/FUNCTION/FRUIT OF THE BODY OF BELIEVERS STEMS FROM THIS UNION…if we never understand or recognize that something is missing and unfunctioning in the brain of this body (ie: Christian marriages failing at higher rates than those of non-believers) how will we ever potentially get it right. We struggle as a body… as a community because the lack of communication with GOD and each other. And from generation to generation it continues. Our world is progressively stuck. Friday night, I heard Dr. Jamal Bryant say: ” [as Christians] we’re so quick to speak in tongues, but we don’t even speak to each other. Our children know what a Maybach is, but can’t conjugate verbs. Our sisters strip, not to pay for college, but because they want to buy nice handbags & shoes…”. This unfortunately is US. The truth of it is so sad. If we don’t recognize that our corpus collosum (direct link to God: our direction. The thing that allows us to see order and get day-to-day understand of simple things..[so that we can help each other function] like the two halves of the brain) we’ll stay lost for ever. Funny how one never knows their lost if they aren’t trying to go anywhere.. but thats another post!! Okay Brandi… I said a lot!!! Lets start this again…new readers: think beyond whats posted.. where else can this be applied?

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